First thing I need to say is if you do not agree with me, no problem. At any time you are reading this and do not agree or worse, you are free to move along. I am open and willing to hear things from a different perspective and very interested in any enlightenment you can give but I will not debate or argue to the point of rudeness or insults.
2020 has been a significant year and it’s just now June! What I’d like to address is the civil unrest (understatement!) in our country. Of course there is more than enough commentary on social media, more than is probably healthy, so I will make a decision later as to whether I share this like I normally do or not.
Here are just some of my random thoughts.
I need to confess that I have in the past used a racial slur.Not recently or even in the past 30+ years, but I have done it. It’s not something I’m proud of and if I could go back and change it I would. To anyone who heard me, I apologize. I think if we are brutally honest with ourselves, most of us have used racially inappropriate language. We can do better.
In today’s newspaper, there is an article with photos of a local protest rally. The photo is of two young ladies and it notes in the article that most of the protesters are teens or young adults. My gut reaction to that was “they don’t really understand” but within a split second I realized that they understand far more than we do. Do not discount them because they are young. That is just as wrong as dismissing them because of color. We must respect the opinions of others, even if we disagree.
I consider myself to be one of the least racist people I know. I work on the south side of town, generally known as predominately black and Hispanic and largely low income and I’ve been asked or it’s been insinuated that I be fearful because of where I work. I am not! I am responsible wherever I am for my own personal safety, whether it be on the south side or the north. With that being said, I’m not sure how I should feel and what I should see. I’ve often heard it said, “do you see a man or a black man?” My honest answer would be both, sometimes I see a man (regardless of color) and sometimes I see a black man or a white man or a Mexican or Asian. What should I see? If there is no judgement intended, is it ok to see the color of the man along with the man? Can we really be color blind? Should we be? I honestly don’t know. I’m looking for education. That’s the only way we can change things.
As for the rioting and violence, I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how hurting someone else whether it’s through destruction of property or physical injury makes things better, makes one feel better or gets a point across. But I’m open enough to say I don’t understand, teach me. I’ve heard that it’s frustration from years of feeling unheard and ignored or worse. What that brings to my mind for me, is a toddler who bites. Many times the reason a toddler bites others is out of frustration because they do not possess the communication skills to adequately voice what concerns them. So they lash out. Please do not interpret this to mean that I am saying anything about the education or communication skills of rioters or protesters. I am just trying to relate the situation to something I do understand.
“If you want to protest, do it peacefully.” We’ve all heard that and maybe even said it. But what if you protest peacefully and nothing happens or worse, you are ridiculed, fired and tormented because of that protest? That’s when the frustration builds and erupts. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re trying to get your point across to someone, maybe your spouse or your child, and they just aren’t understanding what you’re trying to tell them, so you lose your patience and raise your voice or worse? Maybe that’s how it feels. Maybe, I don’t know.
In the world we inhabit, it seems that eyes and ears are everywhere with smart phones, social media, there’s a camera everywhere! This can be a great thing but it isn’t always. There are often things that happen away from the prying eyes of a camera that are not seen. Sometimes these things are significant. Just because you were there, just because you watched the video, doesn’t mean you saw or know everything that happened. Be open to the possibility that you don’t know. It’s ok to not know.
The police officers in any city or town anywhere in this country and beyond are not above the law and should be held accountable for their actions to the same extent and everyone else. They do not have a separate set of rules. The good ones should be praised and the bad ones should be dealt with appropriately. I’ve often said there is a job for everyone. I have no desire to be a police officer but I have the utmost respect for those who do. The vast majority are excellent, hard working, brave and compassionate people. Lumping all of a certain profession together is just as wrong as lumping all of a race together. Let’s not forget to appreciate the good ones. They have family and friends who in times like these are even more concerned for their safety than normal. Be mindful of that.
My son is 32 years old. In those 32 years, we have never had to have “the talk” with him. Not that talk! I mean the talk that I’ve been told parents have with their black sons and maybe daughters. The talk where I would tell him if you get pulled over, make sure you keep your hands on the steering wheel and in sight, be respectful and do not argue no matter what. I don’t know what that talk sounds like. I know friends of ours who do. Many of my sons friends have been on the receiving end of that talk and will probably be on the giving end one day with their children. A parent should never have to give their children a lesson on how to survive a traffic stop or any encounter with law enforcement. Never.
I’ve heard the term white privilege before and didn’t understand and honestly didn’t agree with it. I now understand that white privilege means I don’t have to have that talk with my sons and daughters among other things. I will never fully understand what it is like to be black anymore than my husband can fully understand what it is like to be a woman. Be we can be accepting.
Until recently I had a problem, like many, with the Black Lives Matter movement. Like so many my response was “All Lives Matter”. And yes they do but all lives can’t matter, until black lives matter. One has to happen first for the second to be true. I wish I could take credit for this epiphany but I can’t. I learned it from listening to someone else. That seems to be a lost art. We need to stop running our mouths so much. Stop posting on social media, and start listening, really listening when someone is talking to you. We don’t do that enough anymore. We text, email or im. Let’s start talking to each other again.
I don’t have the answers. That may be one of the only things concerning this that I’m sure of. I hope this is received in the spirit with which I intend it to be. I’m sorry for all the unrest but change is painful. Change does not happen alone. This country was built on protest, free speech and standing up for what you believe in.
I hope I haven’t offended anyone, but if I have, let’s talk about it over a cup of coffee or a beer.
“America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You’ve gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say, “You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.” You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.” – Andrew Shepherd, “An American President”
My Life is Cake 