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I’ve recently found a Facebook group of folks who have had the same surgery as me and chronicals the ups & downs and after effects.  It’s helpful to me to know that much of my experience is shared and therefore “normal”.   It seems that, on average, I’m faring better than many of my counterparts.  Many have had to quit their jobs or go on permanent disability due to the time they spend in the restroom.  The people in the group are from all over the world.  Different ages, different races, different circumstances.  So it’s hard to compare or know why they are having a more difficult  go of it than me.

Ive had so many people talk about how well I’ve dealt with this, calling me a rock star, Wonder Woman and other sweet compliments and though I appreciate it, I don’t feel I deserve it.  I’ve tackled this the same as I’ve faced all challenges.  I truly believe that life is what you make it.  Attitude is everything!  I try to face each day with a positive attitude.  Even on the days that I’m not feeling my best, I get up, show up and give it my all. I have had plenty of bad days and moments.  I’m entitled to them but I don’t allow myself to stay down long.  It’s nonproductive and habit forming.  I’m proud of how well I have come through this so far.  I credit my God, my doctors, my support system and my stubborn Amerson gene.

I have learned a lot about my body, how it is supposed to work, how it works now and cancer.  I have not immersed myself in cancer.  If my team mentioned something that I was unfamiliar with, I looked it up.  I have not spent a lot of time researching cancer, it’s causes, cures and theories.  I’m not fanatical about it. I choose to spent my time living my life.  That doesn’t mean I spent every waking moment on something meaningful and “important “.  It simply means I’m living my life as closely as I can to how I want to, how I lived before cancer.

One of the eye openers of the fb group is everyone is so different.  It really is trial and error.  But I will say that there seems to be more complaining, whining really than anything else.  Yes it’s important to have that outlet but a fb group with more than 800 members, may not be the most helpful avenue.  At least not for me.  With that many people, someone is always having a “crappy” day and so it’s a constant barrage of sadness, frustration, irritation, self pity.  I really hope there are some who benefit from the exchanges but I find it pulling me down.

I believe it is just as important to my health to maintain a positive attitude as it is to follow my diet or take medication.  I like to look on the bright side.  Glass half full and all that.  Like I said earlier, I think this is a choice.  Ok, some of it is genetic.  But even if you have a tendency to be n negative nelly, you can try and change.  Life is so much better when you look for the positive. A smile goes a long way.  A genuine inquiry of “How are you?”  Trust me, people can tell the difference between the obligatory ask and the one where you’re prepared to listen to the answer.  I try to remember that I have no idea what the cashier, fast food worker, caller might be dealing with and be kind.  Kindness is free.  Being kind makes me feel just a good as the person to whom I’m kind.   Kindness seems to be a lost art.  I think it’s because it’s easy to be mean or disrespectful when you’re hiding behind a screen.  Our electronic devices and constant wired in life has created a cold, and disconnected society.  It’s easy to be disconnected from social interactions.  So take a little extra time to listen to someone who wants to talk and smile at the person standing across the counter from you.  Do a little more than what’s expected.  Make someone’s day.  Spread the love.  Pay it forward.  Do a random act of kindness.

Chick fil A has been the topic of conversation lately because of their excellent customer service. Although it’s very good, it only seems extraordinary because the customer service of others is so bad.  Their oft used phrase of “It’s my pleasure “, is a refreshing change from “no problem”.  You see , “no problem” is a negative, it has the word no in it.  Pleasure is a positive.  Phrases such as “no problem” and “my bad” have replaced the kinder “you’re welcome” and “I’m sorry”.  These need to make a comeback.

All of this to say, try to make the world a better place.  Every day, give at least one genuine compliment, preferably to someone who is not your favorite. And compliment those you love as well!  It’s amazing how that improves your attitude towards them as well as their attitude.

Most importantly, make sure your loved ones know how much they mean it you.  I know I could not make it through this life without my tribe.  ❤️